tooo scared to step on scale........

okay so it wasn't too bad im down 3.2 pounds yay! i still feel like it wasnt enough but hell its a start.losing the physical weight is a beginning ut i think i need to really confront the issues that cause me to eat. im not happy....i cant remember the last time i was happy....i feel like im just walking thru my life and the journey is hard and suffocating. i feel no worth ..im a mom a wife and a daughter but im not me...deb...but then again who is deb? lol...i know a diva on diet. i look at myself in the mirror and i see just a blob...dont feel attractive or sexy or worth it..which is crazy i know ... but its honest..i feel as though i seem to be putting everyone first....which is how its supposed be right?