thoughts and feelings suck!!!!!

i havent been bloggin for awhile because well my head was all screwed up and way too much going on for me to breathe nevermind blog. last tuesday my seventeen year old got bwoken.....really bwoken..so we had an awesome trip to the milford hospital to deal with a not so bright er doc who precedes to tell me that ahhh just put a sling on it it will be fine in a week.yeah that didnt sit with me...i had a really bad feeling and my son is in excruciating pain.....not flying with me ...this mama bear is going to get very protective of her baby bear (even though he is the one who bought me so much stress) so get out of my way. i call an ortho doc i know and make him see him.....within 5 min of looking at the same er xrays he turns to me and said DEB HIS COLLARBONE IS BROKEN IN THREE PLACES....wait a minute what seriously what????
so surgery scheduled asap and im sooo glad i got him in there. thank god there are amazing doctors who know what the hell they r talking about and are skilled enough to fix my son.......who cares about my weight my son is my priority right now....i probably gained 5 pounds..........

today ...dare i say it was a good day.....no drama..i got jewlery.....visited my nana and dare i say it ...my teenager was actually civil to me what?!?!?..am i dying? lol.....i had a really crazy week....had a field trip scheduled with my fourth grader that was rescheduled due to rain.....and went into boston monday night for some much needed me time no hubby no kids.....then worked on tuesday..then the resheduled field trip.. did i tell ya it was up a mountain...WTH WAS I THINKIN?...i am so proud i actually made it up 2/3 mountain..woohooo. i was actually thinking i was going to die but i did it...then i went to weight watchers on friday. before i tell you the outcome..ill tell u about the rest of my week. my nana, the second most important woman in my life got ill, yes she is 94 but im not ready to lose her. so on top of it all the everyday i was scared for my nana. as i said i went out on monday night and had some me time...i spent time with a amazing friend who let me laugh, or, be silly and just let be me....which was what i needed to reconnect with who i am and what i want....and what i want is to be healthier and to be thinner and to feel good in my skin and not to feel and look like a blob. ok so as i stepped on the scale i was hoping beyond betond hope it was going to be more than a blasted 1/2 a pound. she looks at me and says...wait for it....DOWN 3 POUNDS...im ecstatic....ive worked hard this week..this makes 6.8 pounds in 3 weeks
ill be in a bikini in no time.......NOT!